About having a sad over marriage equality
Aug. 2nd, 2013 07:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pegkerrI have been thinking quite a bit about this article the last couple of days. Marriage equality has come to Minnesota, but some people, apparently are all about the 'Oh Noes!' and 'The moral downfall of our state' and 'Hate the sin and love the sinner.'
I've been probing my own feelings about this. It's difficult: I want to both mock and get angry. Part of my emotion comes from the fact that when I was much, much younger, I suppose I would have been disapproving of marriage equality--if I had even thought about it, which no one I knew did back in the 80s. Why did my opinion change? It was because I came to actually know some gay people, and it all crystallized because of all the research I did for The Wild Swans. The other reason was that I hear echoes of my Dad in some of the words here. I called him on it, strenuously, when I scolded him for his vote in Georgia. I do wonder if I would have been able to change his mind if he had lived long enough to vote on the matter in Minnesota. I would like to think so. He was certainly ashamed of himself when I explained to him that he had, entirely without realizing it, voted against civil unions too when he cast his vote in Georgia, which he hadn't intended to do.
I remember the conversation I had with a co-worker a long time ago about gay civil rights. She was very conservative, and I tried to open her mind a little. She got quite offended, and as she stalked back to her desk, she said something revealing: 'I'm too old.' As in too old to change her mind? That comment has always haunted me.
This article, "Why Privilege is Hard to Give Up" was fortuitously timed to reflect upon the first article I linked above. It's true: these people have been accustomed for so long to think that their marriage, cis-gendered heterosexual marriage, is the only real marriage. And now they're throwing a tantrum because their privilege is being taken away. Despite my tug of sympathy (I came from a place where I understood that point of view) I can't help but think that their tantrum makes them look ugly and clueless. And even MORE ugly in protesting 'Don't call us bigots!'
Um. Cluebat? You are bigots.
There's a little tragedy buried in that article, too. One of the commentators, going on about 'Hate the sin, love the sinner' notes that he has a son who is gay. But they don't talk very much anymore. He also said sadly that his son identifies as an atheist.
GEE, I WONDER WHY?! Could it be possibly because you've been doing such an extraordinarily lousy job of modeling God's love to him that he's decided, "You know, for my own self-preservation, I don't want any part of a 'loving God' who looks like that. Who judges and rejects me for the way He created me."
Changing minds is hard. But it's worth doing. I have a great deal of respect for the guy who is doing the blog My Obama Year, a conservative who decided to take a year to really delve into and try to understand all the liberal opinions and stands he's been reflexively rejecting for years.
See also this post I made about changing hearts and minds.
I've been probing my own feelings about this. It's difficult: I want to both mock and get angry. Part of my emotion comes from the fact that when I was much, much younger, I suppose I would have been disapproving of marriage equality--if I had even thought about it, which no one I knew did back in the 80s. Why did my opinion change? It was because I came to actually know some gay people, and it all crystallized because of all the research I did for The Wild Swans. The other reason was that I hear echoes of my Dad in some of the words here. I called him on it, strenuously, when I scolded him for his vote in Georgia. I do wonder if I would have been able to change his mind if he had lived long enough to vote on the matter in Minnesota. I would like to think so. He was certainly ashamed of himself when I explained to him that he had, entirely without realizing it, voted against civil unions too when he cast his vote in Georgia, which he hadn't intended to do.
I remember the conversation I had with a co-worker a long time ago about gay civil rights. She was very conservative, and I tried to open her mind a little. She got quite offended, and as she stalked back to her desk, she said something revealing: 'I'm too old.' As in too old to change her mind? That comment has always haunted me.
This article, "Why Privilege is Hard to Give Up" was fortuitously timed to reflect upon the first article I linked above. It's true: these people have been accustomed for so long to think that their marriage, cis-gendered heterosexual marriage, is the only real marriage. And now they're throwing a tantrum because their privilege is being taken away. Despite my tug of sympathy (I came from a place where I understood that point of view) I can't help but think that their tantrum makes them look ugly and clueless. And even MORE ugly in protesting 'Don't call us bigots!'
Um. Cluebat? You are bigots.
There's a little tragedy buried in that article, too. One of the commentators, going on about 'Hate the sin, love the sinner' notes that he has a son who is gay. But they don't talk very much anymore. He also said sadly that his son identifies as an atheist.
GEE, I WONDER WHY?! Could it be possibly because you've been doing such an extraordinarily lousy job of modeling God's love to him that he's decided, "You know, for my own self-preservation, I don't want any part of a 'loving God' who looks like that. Who judges and rejects me for the way He created me."
Changing minds is hard. But it's worth doing. I have a great deal of respect for the guy who is doing the blog My Obama Year, a conservative who decided to take a year to really delve into and try to understand all the liberal opinions and stands he's been reflexively rejecting for years.
See also this post I made about changing hearts and minds.