Convergence. And my anniversary. Without Rob

[pegkerr]

It is my 33rd anniversary today, but I have been a widow for over a year. I have been going to Convergence today, but it hasn't worked as well as last year at keeping me distracted.

Maybe it's because it's a different hotel, so there isn't the comfort of familiarity.

Maybe because I don't have my girls with me.

Maybe it's because I am not staying at the hotel itself so I don't have opportunities to slip away and rest in a room and decompress.

Maybe because I'm lonely, and I know fewer people here.

I managed to go to some panels and enjoy discussions, but other times I was walking around muttering to myself you should be with me; how come you're not here; I can't believe you're dead. How can you be dead?.

Did not stay for the late panels. Came home to be miserable by myself.

This sucks. Rob, you should be here with me. You should be here. Holding your ashes on my lap is not good enough.

Comments

[ndrosen]

I’m sorry that your husband’s absence is gnawing at you. May you be comforted among the mourners of the world, as a Jewish friend of mine puts it.

[kiwiria]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this :(

[pameladean]

It's such a long process with so very many reverses. I'm sorry CONvergence was hard this year.

[minnehaha]

Foreign conventions are always hit-or-miss. This one is in the foreign lonely land of widowhood. I am sorry he is not there.

K.

[castiron]

I'm very sorry. It's not fair.

[davidschroth]

I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time.

[maribou]

I'm sorry. It sucks. He should be with you.

[aome]

♥ ♥

Just sending lots of love to you.