A tragedy

[pegkerr]

This story--and especially the picture of the father--absolutely broke my heart.

I can't give the family anything but heartfelt sympathy. Every parent knows how thin the line is that we walk between life as usual and making a mistake that has consequences you will never recover from.

I hope that their family stays intact after this tragedy, and may God be with them as they mourn their loss.

Edited to add: I cross posted this in badparents here and it has generated a large amount of comments, if people would like to see what others are saying.

Comments

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

I am not a parent, first off, so I don't know what it's like, but all of the parents I do know have their kids' car seats in the back seat, so that they can glance in the rear view mirror and check on them. It's hard to believe he drove all the way to work, never once looking in the rearview mirror, nor even looking at the car when he locked it and walked away. I feel bad for him, yes, and I know that divorce is very, very common after the death of a child, but if you're that sleep-deprived, then maybe you shouldn't be driving in the first place.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

You can't necessarily see a car seat from the rear-view mirror, depending on how it's adjusted. It was out of this man's routine for him to take the baby to day care.

Sure, maybe he shouldn't have been driving if he was sleep-deprived. But what was he supposed to do? Maybe he should have stayed home, lost his job, and tried to raise his family on welfare. How often have you volunteered to take care of a baby or toddler so that a sleep-deprived parent could take even a nap?

None of our older three kids slept through the night regularly until they were nearly 4 years old. I was sleep-deprived for 9 years.

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

Having kids is a huge responsibility and, like I said, I've never been a parent. I've been a nanny, and have often babysat for my cousins so that they could get a nap. I've run errands for them, when they were too tired to even function. I don't think he should have stayed home and gone on welfare; of course not. It's just that all of the parents I know have said there's no way they could forget the baby--quite a few of them put post-it notes on the steering wheel whenever there was a change in the routine. I feel sorry for the family--no matter what, the fact remains that this is a tragedy.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Bless you for having helped out tired parents. A lot of people who don't have kids never think of it.

It's just that all of the parents I know have said there's no way they could forget the baby

People say there's no way they could do a lot of things, but sometimes we just don't want to think that we could, don't want to imagine the possibility. In these comments alone there are at least two experienced parents (pegkerr and I) who say we can imagine how this could happen. Humans are human, and that doesn't change because they're parents.

The Post-its are a great idea.

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine how much responsibility it is to be a parent. To be responsible for a life--I have cats, yes, and they are my kids, but they also aren't totally dependent on me as a baby would be. Being a parent is scary, and you have to admire it.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, being a parent is scary, but we forget that most of the time, which is probably a good thing for the species, or we'd never manage to reproduce and raise the next generation.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

I think that most humans forget most of the time just how fragile life is. We couldn't function otherwise.