Belt test tomorrow for Fiona

Fiona is testing for her red belt tomorrow. Delia plans to start karate again once she is done with ballet, about halfway through March.

Since Fiona will be an advanced belt, her classes will be switching days. Delia will resume the old schedule until she gets her red, which will maybe take a couple months.

So the karate schedule will be Fiona Monday, Delia Tuesday, both skip class on Wednesday (since it's church supper and Fiona has confirmation), Delia Thursday, Fiona Friday, both on Saturday.

*whimper*

Luna Lovegood

I rather like the look of the newly cast Luna Lovegood. Apparently she beat out 15,000 others for the role.

Edited to add: I poked around a bit on the site and learned that she is obsessed by the books and actually wrote to Jo Rowling several years ago saying she was pining to appear in one of the Harry Potter movies. And Rowling wrote back and told her, "Don't give up, you never know." This was years before the casting decision. Rather nice. (Of course, one wonders how many children in total Jo has said that to.)

And I've always loved Imelda Staunton, who will be playing Prof. Umbridge.

Your best parenting bright idea?

One of the most important rules Rob and I instituted as parents is the "Please stop" rule. It is breathtakingly simple. The rule in our family is that if someone objects to something that someone else is doing to them and says "Please stop," then the other person has to stop. We enforce this rule in a specific way. If child A comes to us with a complaint about the other ("She's teasing me!") instead of turning to child B, we ask child A "Did you tell her 'Please stop'?"

If she says "Uh, no," then the ritual reply is "Well, tell her 'Please stop' and she has to stop."

If child B still does not stop the behavior upon being told to stop by child A, then only at that point do we step in immediately to enforce the rule, removing child B if necessary.

I grow more and more deeply impressed with this rule over the years. Consequences: the girls don't torment each other. I think we have a lot less sibling trouble than some of the families we have known. Secondly, we leave first responsibility for reinforcing this rule with the girls themselves, which keeps us out of the middle of many squabbles.

Most importantly, they have learned that they have the right to say "No," and that "No" will be respected. They have been very struck by what a difference that makes as they have moved out to interact with children outside their own family. "Mom," they have told me, "you can really tell when kids haven't grown up with the 'Please stop' rule. They don't make very good friends." Which is exactly what I hoped they would learn.

I realize that they will continue to encounter people who don't respect the 'Please stop' rule, and they will have to work out strategies accordingly. I hope, however, that growing up with this rule will innoculate them with their own self-worth and keep them from choosing bad relationships with power imbalances.

They understand and respect the power of "No." This rule, by the way, applies to both parents and children. They can tell us, for example, to stop tickling them, and Rob and I will immediately stop. We think it is important for them to be able to tell an adult "No" if they don't like something. Again, this is very protective for them.

Tell me about a parenting precept you have enforced which is important to you, and what effect it has in your family and why you think it is worthwhile.