Alternative Dispute Resolution

The following is an excerpt of an actual order handed down from a court in Florida which was passed around the office today, to everyone's amusement:

This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff's Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition. Upon consideration of the Motion--the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts--it is

ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 p.m. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the ____________ U.S. Courthouse, [address] Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of "rock, paper, scissors." The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in ________ County..

It is so fun to watch when the judge finally has had enough.