Mom puts bullying daughter in her place

[pegkerr]

Wow. As a woman who was bullied as a kid and knows how corrosive the experience is, I have to say I seriously admire this woman:

She's taken away the cell phone, she's banned the TV, but when her daughter was suspended for bullying a classmate last week, Ivory Spann felt a new punishment was in order: public humiliation.

After checking to see if it was legal, Spann forced her 12-year-old daughter, Miasha Williams, to spend four days this week in front of several Temecula schools carrying a big sign saying, "I Engaged in Bullying Behavior. I Got Suspended From School ... Don't Be Like Me. Stop Bullying."I felt I needed to do something that would make an impression," Spann said. (Read more)

From what I've read, research seems to indicate that bullying is much less likely if victims, bullies or bystanders feel that it is tolerated. I gotta think this would help. I suppose it might be argued by some that perhaps this would be counterproductive. Is the mother is perhaps "bullying" the daughter by making her do something that would humiliate her? Is this useful in a way that would teach empathy to the daughter? I suppose that it would very much depend upon the child, and the mother is the best judge of that. I also respect the fact that the mother took care to check to make sure that this was legal first.

At the very least, it might spark some useful discussions, if not between this mother and her child, or the child and the victims she was bullying, but between other children (potential victims, bullies and bystanders) and their parents.

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Hmm, discussion spark indeed.

On one hand, I believe the research and the anecdotes suggesting that authorities and bystanders can reduce or stop bullying by responding firmly and consistently every time, by naming the behaviour to the bully and disciplining the bully rather than concentrating on equipping the victim.

But on the other hand, I don't approve at all of public humiliation as a punishment, even in milder forms. To me that's an abuse of power that is on the same spectrum as bullying.

[handworn.livejournal.com]

But on the other hand, I don't approve at all of public humiliation as a punishment, even in milder forms. To me that's an abuse of power that is on the same spectrum as bullying.

Sorry, but I could not disagree with you more. The use of power is inherently coercive. This is the situation in real life: there are some people who respond to nothing less than force. This is a very minor use of it. Public humiliation for bullying, using a social punishment for a social transgression, makes the punishment fit the crime. It involves no physical punishment. And I believe it would deter escalation, because unlike an adult, the student has to go back and face his or her same classmates afterwards.

And the "same spectrum" argument never holds any water by itself, I think, because almost everything called bad by anyone is a matter of degree, which in a different intensity is not widely controversial.