Peg Kerr's Journal

Had a lovely Thanksgiving, celebrating with both sides of the family (with Lance, Rob's brother's family for dinner, and with my sister Betsy for dessert). Both Fiona and Delia and their sweeties were able to join us at Lance's).

Background: semi-transparent roasted vegetables. Lower left: turkey in roasting pan. Lower right: Thanksgiving table directions (carved wooden Puritan couple standing on a Thanksgiving table runner). Upper left: a woman holds up a wine glass in a toast. Upper right: a smiling woman holds a chocolate pie.

Thanksgiving



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Today, I threw away the turkey dinner in the freezer.

We got our Thanksgiving dinner for four years from Open Arms of Minnesota, a service which offers free food to families dealing with life-threatening illness. They offer their clients a full Thanksgiving dinner each year. You can choose whether to have it delivered fully cooked or frozen so you can cook it yourself.

Rob's family, knowing he was gravely ill, had flown in from all over the country to see him. Our plan was to spend Thanksgiving dinner at his brother's and to cook the dinner Open Arms had given to us sometime later, just for Rob, me and the girls. A nice celebratory dinner for just the four of us.

But on Thanksgiving Day, Rob woke up that morning with a fever of 103. I called his brother's, hoping that at least my girls could go over there while we were in the emergency room, so they could see their grandma who had flown in from California. Nope. One out of town relative who'd flown in had a terrible cold, and we couldn't risk the girls being exposed to something they could give their daddy.

So I arranged for the girls to go spend Thanksgiving at my sister's celebration instead, and then took Rob to the Emergency Room. We spent the entire sad day in the ER, getting hungrier and hungrier (all the restaurants around the hospital were closed by the holiday), tormented by the pictures of the family gatherings and feasts that our families texted to us.

Rob was admitted to the hospital hours later. His mom and brother delivered Thanksgiving leftovers to him later that evening.

He never went home again.

That frozen turkey and pumpkin pie and all the rest of the fixings have sat in my freezer ever since. At first, when we hoped he would be home soon, we thought, "We can cook it for Christmas." When he died in January, I thought, well, I'd get around to cooking it eventually. It'll keep okay in the freezer. Even though my girls were gone, Fiona to a new apartment, and Delia back to college. Fiona said she'd take it and cook it for her roommates, but every time I asked her about it, she put me off. Too busy. About to move.

Finally, I took everything out of the freezer tonight and threw it out, because I just couldn't bear to look at it any longer. And I cried my eyes out for about a half hour. All that kindness, all that hope, all that celebration, all that tradition. Gone into the garbage, leaving just me, alone and with a broken heart behind.

I have many reasons to be grateful. One is that these two beautiful girls are home from college for the weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving from our household to yours.

It's a good one for us this year, although we're sad about missing my Dad, of course. But we are REALLY thankful that Rob has been employed for a FULL YEAR! Depression is in remission, and we are digging our way out of debt. Both girls are doing great in school. I'm grateful for the results of the last election. I think our life is going as well as it ever has for, oh, the last decade or so. And we are thankful for our family and circle of friends, and that includes you, dear friends on DW and LJ.

We're going over to my sister's Cindy's for Thanksgiving, although we will probably drop over at Rob's brother Lance's house, too. I wish you all safe travels and tasty dinners. May all your football teams win, may you win all your turkey trot races, and I hope that no dishes get dropped and broken and no family fights break out over the pumpkin pie.

Which means it's time for President Bartlet to call the Butterball Hotline.

I am truly thankful on this Thanksgiving Day for my friends and family, especially for those who have been rallying around me during a dark time. I am thankful for a warm house (even though it has mice), and a job with a decent salary (even if I really do want a different one) and for all the other blessings available to me every day that I take for granted: a computer, clean water, transportation, the right to vote, the ability to read, the ability to use all my limbs, and more. For those of you who have family and friends to spend this day with, travel safely, eat safely, and I hope you end up with just enough leftovers. For those of you who are alone, I hope you find a way to celebrate this day in a way that suits you best.

We will be going to my sister's for dinner today, and I will be bringing the artichoke dip.

The nieces and nephews, including Fiona, are playing out in the back yard around the swimming pool. cowgirlbev has taken Delia to the stable to ride her horse Rosie. Some are in the family room, watching the football game, or in the kitchen, going through the various steps necessary to rustle up today's feast (I'll be out there shortly to work on the artichoke dip).

( Reasons to give thanks )

Happy Thanksgiving, all!