Mom puts bullying daughter in her place

[pegkerr]

Wow. As a woman who was bullied as a kid and knows how corrosive the experience is, I have to say I seriously admire this woman:

She's taken away the cell phone, she's banned the TV, but when her daughter was suspended for bullying a classmate last week, Ivory Spann felt a new punishment was in order: public humiliation.

After checking to see if it was legal, Spann forced her 12-year-old daughter, Miasha Williams, to spend four days this week in front of several Temecula schools carrying a big sign saying, "I Engaged in Bullying Behavior. I Got Suspended From School ... Don't Be Like Me. Stop Bullying."I felt I needed to do something that would make an impression," Spann said. (Read more)

From what I've read, research seems to indicate that bullying is much less likely if victims, bullies or bystanders feel that it is tolerated. I gotta think this would help. I suppose it might be argued by some that perhaps this would be counterproductive. Is the mother is perhaps "bullying" the daughter by making her do something that would humiliate her? Is this useful in a way that would teach empathy to the daughter? I suppose that it would very much depend upon the child, and the mother is the best judge of that. I also respect the fact that the mother took care to check to make sure that this was legal first.

At the very least, it might spark some useful discussions, if not between this mother and her child, or the child and the victims she was bullying, but between other children (potential victims, bullies and bystanders) and their parents.

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about this some more. I have no problem with the idea of an ex-gang-member, ex-addict, someone who committed drunken vehicular homicide or whatever choosing to make presentations to schools about how he or she got into such bad ways and why he or she regrets them. And if the 12yo had been helped to some comprehension of the problems in a climate of bullying, and had agreed to participate in some consciousness-raising activity as a way of making restitution, that might fit similarly. I still don't think parading with a sign would be the best choice of consciousness-raising activity - I'm thinking more like participating in the next round of peacemaker workshops - but still.

Perhaps the newspaper article's use of the words "forced" and "humiliation" aren't fairly representing the situation in that family and that school.

[mplsvala.livejournal.com]

I'm not actually a big fan of the shaming concept in general. But I liked that this was specifically geared for the girl by her own mother. Paying attention to individual differences is one my big things, so I'm inclined to like this. It falls into character-building parental instruction. It offers a host of features. No fun fooling around during school hours, stomps all over the cool factor in bullying, provided an actual learning experience which is highly memorable. It gives her a hook for changing the behavior of others also. Not only is she unlikely to do it again, but she is unlikely to stand by silently while others do it. So, it looks like swift and effective direct intervention to me. You don't have to enroll in a workshop to help society change for the better.

BTW, what a cute handle you have. It tries to leap out as an image, especially in combination with the icon. Cool.