Peg Kerr's Journal

Due to her attendance at camp, she missed the official third black belt screening last week, but sensei said they would evaluate her during class tonight. Which was awfully nice of them, because it meant we didn't have to drive to camp, pick her up from camp, take her to the screening, bring her back to camp and come back home, which would have been about 320 miles in all.

If she passes, she will take the black belt exam September 6.

Cross your fingers for Delia, please!

I asked sensei last week whether it was likely that I might test for brown belt this month. He said yes, so they'll be looking at me for pretesting this week, and now the test is looming in my mind.

For me, brown belt feels like a really big deal.

In our dojo, passing brown belt means that you are now addressed as "Mr." or "Ms. [last name]" There's a profound level of respect associated with earning that belt. It has been quite funny that for a good part of a year, my daughters have been addressed with the "Ms." honorific whereas I am still "Peg."

Technically, this should be my second experience testing at the Advanced belt level (Advanced belt exams starts when you are a red belt testing for brown stripe, running up through double black stripe, the last belt before black belt). But I earned my brown stripe belt (my present one) at a makeup test, not the regular test, and so it was a bit rushed, and let's face it--much easier than the Advanced tests are usually run. This will be, for all intents and purposes, really my first Advanced belt test.

What is making me fret so much is that, inexplicably, right in time for the test, my balance seems to have disappeared on one side. If I stand on my left leg and kick with my right, I can balance, no problem. Front kick, round kick, hook kick and sidekick, whatever. . . I wobble a little on some, but no more than would be expected of someone testing for brown.

But if I stand on my right leg and kick with my left, the story is completely different. I do okay on the front kick. But I start wobbling badly on the round kick and hook kicks. And to my consternation, I'm continually falling out of the kick entirely when I attempt the side kick on that side.

Weird. It's as if I've had a margarita that's affecting only one side of my brain.

I discovered this in class last Thursday. Worried, I went down to practice kicking in the downstairs gym during my lunch hour today, and the problem is definitely still there. I did a little better than last Thursday, but the difference between the two sides is quite marked: I can balance on 90% of the side kicks, kicking with the right leg. But when I kick with the left leg, I'm falling out of, I dunno, about three-quarters of the kicks.

This is ridiculous. I'm trying to cope with it by concentrating as hard as I can on keeping my focus on my target, and on keeping my hands controlled. I know that senseis will also be looking especially for a full pivot on the supporting leg, so I'm trying not to lose track of that, either. And of course, another thing they look for on tests is that if you do fall out of a kick, whatever you do, you don't give up but instead get your leg back up there as fast as possible.

At this point, it becomes sort of a mind game. The pressure of the test and my difficulties on Thursday have increased my anxiety about keeping my balance, particularly kicking with my left leg, but what happens whenever anxiety increases? You guessed it--balance actually becomes even worse. Wonderful. I'm afraid I'm going to psych myself out before I even start the test, maybe even this week while I'm being pre-tested.

I can't ever remember being so anxious about a test this far in advance.

Rob has to work the morning of the test (of course) and so will miss it. I'm rather bitter about that.

Delia is going through the last pre-screening tomorrow night. If all goes well, she'll test for black belt the night of May 30.

Honestly, she's rather unsettled about this one. She had two karate classes that ended in tears this month, and that's making her freak out a bit about this screening, which will be, admittedly, really tough. The obstacles seem to be more mental than physical for her, however, and our senseis clearly believe she is ready.

I think and hope she will pass, but of course we've pointed out that if she doesn't, that doesn't mean senseis think she can't get the belt. Fiona had to go through the screening process twice, and several of the kids screening with her are on their third go-around.

Anyway, wish her courage, stamina, and luck.

and now I have my brown stripe belt. The next one is the big one--brown belt.

It was a very abbreviated test, since it was a makeup test. No sparring, no self-defense. But I really gave it my all, and I did the form from memory, even though technically I don't have to do that until my next test. I worked really hard, lots of intensity, and I was pretty pleased with myself when the test was done. And, thank heavens, I managed to scrape out of my memory the meaning of the name of my form when pazlazuli asked me--"Begin the Mission"--so I avoided embarrassment that way.

Aside: Fiona is on her way back from Mexico and we'll go pick her up this afternoon.

I've mentioned it in passing, but just so everyone knows:

Delia's first (of three) pre-screenings for black belt is TONIGHT.

Wish her luck!

Fiona receives her black belt December 1, 2007

Thanks to all her senseis who helped and guided her along the way.

We came, we saw, we kicked butt!

Delia passed the double black stripe belt test this morning. I did not attend, but Rob was there and took pictures. Hopefully I will be able to download and post some of them tomorrow. She was actually not feeling particularly well, but Rob said that she pulled herself together and had a good test.

We also got the word that Fiona passed the third pre-test screening.

Fiona is testing for Black Belt on December 1.

The test will take place at 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning, and yes, you are invited. This is the black belt exam which is held quarterly for all the National Karate schools citywide, and it is quite interesting to watch. I will post more information about the exact location later, but again, you are invited to come watch. The whole test takes (I think) about two hours.

As for me, I had two appearances today at the Fantasy Matters conference. The first was the panel on The Wild Swans, held at 8:30 a.m. I read two sections of the novel, one from each storyline. David Lenander suggested the sections, and although I hadn't done those ones at readings before, I thought they were well matched and both suitably dramatic. The first was Elias' second visit to the baths, when he was looking for Sean, and then the scene at Central Park where Sean tells Elias he has AIDS. The second was the scene where William and Jonathan follow Eliza to the graveyard, followed by the scene where she is arrested. The advantage to reading the scenes together was that (hopefully) the juxtaposition made it clear to the listeners that the language describing the men at the baths was exactly the same as the language describing the ghosts in the graveyard. That reading took twenty minutes. It was actually an excellent suggestion on David's part; I think I'd chose those two selections for future readings (if I have many other occasions to do readings from Swans, which probably won't happen, actually. The book is getting harder and harder to obtain, although it isn't quite out of print yet). Then David talked for about a half hour about the novel, relating it to the tradition of fairy tale retellings in general and H.C. Andersen in particular. It was lightly attended, but given the panel time, I expected that.

What totally took me by surprise was the turn out at my presentation on the Heart of Flesh/Heart of Stone. My jaw literally dropped as more and more people came into the room. I thought it would be empty because of the panel opposite on Stardust, but I guess they might have ended it early. Anyway, maybe thirty-five people or so showed up, which was a good turnout. I cut one section of the paper on the fly, but that turned out to be a good decision, because it was really just a secondary example of the point I made in the previous section, and that way, the paper came in at exactly the right amount. NOBODY THREW TOMATOES. On the contrary, there were a gratifying number of thoughtful questions and gracious compliments afterwards. It went much better than I ever expected it would.

Hurrah for all of us!

The first of three. Let's hope she gets through the screening process all the way this time; if she does, she'll test in early December.

Rob took pictures, but he was some distance away and not many turned out. He's still getting the hang of the camera, too. But we have these from Saturday's test:

( Click here for pictures )

I heard from sensei yesterday that Fiona did not pass the third pre-screening, so she won't be taking the September black belt exam. She'll have to go through the pre-screening process all over again, which means that she has to go through three pre-screenings and (assuming she passes them all) the soonest she could test for black belt is December.

Sensei assures me that this isn't unusual (he went through the entire process three times himself before getting his own black belt). She hasn't been a double black stripe for very long and mostly needs to build up more strength, but we'll get the specific notes on what she needs to work on when she goes back to class next week.

Still, it is, of course, a disappointment.