pegkerr: (All we have to decide is what to do with)
On Easter, the last day of Minicon, I have done a tarot reading for years, using the Celtic Cross spread. I record notes about the reading in a little notebook I keep with my decks. As I was paging through, ready to begin, I saw a note I'd put there several years ago:

The study of tarot is the study of questions whose answers we fear.

I thought about as I pulled out my deck. I've used my Harry Potter deck for a lot of readings, but I decided for this one to go back to my Jane Austen deck, because the question I had been mulling over was about relationships, specifically, about how to handle a new relationship as well and ethically as possible, and that seemed rather appropriate. Jane does seem to focus a lot in her fiction about how to live an exemplary life.

As I pulled out my materials, I discovered that was just as well. I had grabbed my tarot materials in a hurry when I'd packed for the convention, and I'd managed to leave the companion book to the Harry Potter deck behind. I'd left the companion book to the Jane Austen deck behind, too. Oops. But at least I had the little pocket guide to that deck.

I always try to ask open-ended questions when doing these readings--not asking for a forecast of the future--but framing it along the lines of 'What do I need to know (or think about) X.'

For this year, I asked, "What do I need to know about this new stage of my life, the interstices between widowhood and a potential new partnership?" Keeping in mind the quotation I read in my notebook, I wanted to particularly pay attention to the shadow side, what I feared and how that might get me stuck.

Here's how the reading went )


Apr. 8th, 2019 07:02 am
pegkerr: (Default)
Went to Albert Lea this weekend with Eric to meet a couple of his friends and visit a winery.

A woman and a man standing together smiling at the camera holding glasses of wine
pegkerr: (All we have to decide is what to do with)
I am seeing someone.

His name is Eric, and he was a classmate of mine at St. Olaf. We didn't know each other at school really at all--knew each other's name, maybe, as my graduating class was reasonably sized, but we never took a class together.

We reconnected at the 2012 St. Olaf 30-year reunion. We happened to get seated next to each other at the dinner, and he made some passing remark about Harry Potter. I lit up like a firefly and talked his ear off.

When I lost my job in 2016, I reached out to everyone I could think of to do informational interviewing, and I called him up to talk about his company. When our conversation was over, he said, "You know, I've been thinking about doing some career re-alignment myself. How about we check in with each other every couple of months, just to see how the job hunt is going?" So we did that. We found we had a lot in common, including some parenting issues.

When the 2017 reunion came around, he asked if I would be going. I said I wouldn't because I couldn't afford to--Rob was really sick, and funds were limited. He offered to pay for my ticket, and we drove to the reunion together.

He never met Rob, but he did come to the funeral.

We checked in occasionally during the summer of 2018 and went to a movie together. In November, I wanted to go to a one-man show of A Christmas Carol, and Fiona wasn't available, so I called Eric.

Things have taken off from there.

He reminds me of Rob in some ways: he has the same Myers Briggs type as Rob did, he's also an attorney, and he's a Ravenclaw like Rob was. But he reminds me of me, too. He has had some frustrations about being in the wrong job for too long. He went to the same college I did, he went to study abroad in England like I did (we went different semesters), he has spent time making his living as a writer, and we share a personal faith, which is something that was never important to Rob.

But of course, when it comes down to it, he is neither Rob nor me. He is himself. And I am enjoying getting to know him.

He has two sons, a little younger than Fiona and Delia.

We read books together. I have introduced him to Pamela Dean's Tam Lin, which he absolutely loved, and we're reading War for the Oaks together now. He brings me flowers.

We make each other happy, for now.


pegkerr: (Default)

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