Delia's research team is doing a blog
Jun. 29th, 2022 04:03 pmHere is their blog about their work in Lithuania and Latvia using ground-penetrating radar to map Holocaust sites.
Delia's off on an adventure!
Jun. 24th, 2022 07:50 pmToday is the birthday of my darling daughter Delia, but I won't be celebrating it with her as she's presently in LITHUANIA! She was asked to join one of her professors on his research trip abroad, using GIS technology to research and map Holocaust sites. The party will have to wait until she gets back.
So proud of you, honey.
Here's a picture she sent to me via snapchat:
So proud of you, honey.
Here's a picture she sent to me via snapchat:
We knew this was going to happen. But I am still aghast and unmoored. More than that, I don’t really have the words today.
Except perhaps this: To my two beloved daughters: I am so sorry. For this, and for the worse still to come.
Apropos of nothing, I note in passing that that my resting heart rate reached its highest rate in a year. Purely coincidence, I’m sure.
Except perhaps this: To my two beloved daughters: I am so sorry. For this, and for the worse still to come.
Apropos of nothing, I note in passing that that my resting heart rate reached its highest rate in a year. Purely coincidence, I’m sure.
52 Card Project 2022: Week 18: SCOTUS
May. 6th, 2022 12:58 pmSlight edit to temper my language.
So I am sort of breaking my rule that each card should be titled with one word. SCOTUS is a very commonly recognized acronym for Supreme Court of the United States but don't come at me with any lip about it this week. In fact, don't come at me with any lip at all because I will TOTALLY SMITE YOU.
I am enraged by this week's news. Enraged. Not only Roe, but despite his protestations, Alito's reasoning would take an axe at the rights that underlie Obergefell, Griswold and even Loving.
Scrapping fifty years of jurisprudence as if it were garbage. I don't want my girls to face their reproductive lives in the world this Supreme Court wants to create. I don't want to live in a country where we do not have a right to privacy or bodily autonomy.
Image description: Lady Justice in a flowing white dress falls off a cliff. She grips the flailing scales in her left hand but her right hand has let go of her sword, which falls after her.
SCOTUS
Click here to see the 2022 52 Card Project gallery.
Click here to see the 2021 gallery.
So I am sort of breaking my rule that each card should be titled with one word. SCOTUS is a very commonly recognized acronym for Supreme Court of the United States but don't come at me with any lip about it this week. In fact, don't come at me with any lip at all because I will TOTALLY SMITE YOU.
I am enraged by this week's news. Enraged. Not only Roe, but despite his protestations, Alito's reasoning would take an axe at the rights that underlie Obergefell, Griswold and even Loving.
Scrapping fifty years of jurisprudence as if it were garbage. I don't want my girls to face their reproductive lives in the world this Supreme Court wants to create. I don't want to live in a country where we do not have a right to privacy or bodily autonomy.
Image description: Lady Justice in a flowing white dress falls off a cliff. She grips the flailing scales in her left hand but her right hand has let go of her sword, which falls after her.
Click here to see the 2022 52 Card Project gallery.
Click here to see the 2021 gallery.
52 Card Project 2022: Week 14: Writing
Apr. 8th, 2022 04:51 pmSometimes these digital collages come together really easily.
This was not one of those cards. I spent about two hours on an approach that I ended up scrapping altogether and then spent another two hours coming up with this.
This is entirely appropriate because it is about something that has given me fits of agony for more than the last quarter-century: writing.
After I finished The Wild Swans, I made several attempts to start a new novel, without success. One attempt was the Ice Palace Book, and one was a sequel to Emerald House Rising. I agonized and flailed and wrote scads of entries on LiveJournal and Dreamwidth about my writers block, but I never figured it out. It's not surprising, really: I was attempting to work full time, raise a family, and manage a household (of which the three other members all had ADHD). And write. My back brain just didn't have the bandwidth to do anything creative. And so after a lot of grief and self-flagellation, I effectively put my writing away (picture it locked away in a trunk) and didn't attempt again to write anything publishable for almost twenty years.
The Alternity Game helped. That convinced me I could still write. Soul Collage and this digital card project helped, too. That showed me that I still have a creative side.
Several years ago, I extricated from a pile in my office the four chapters I'd written that were meant to be a new Piyanthia novel:
For the last several years, I have been having coffee every Friday with three other writing friends: Eleanor Arnason,![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lydamorehouse and naomikritzer. When the pandemic came, we switched to meeting over Zoom every Friday. They have all published more books than me and certainly have had more successful writing careers; we've had different life paths. But they did me the great courtesy of still considering me to be a writer too and gently encouraged me to keep revisiting the idea of writing--for publication or simply for fun. Lyda formed a writing critique group last year and assured me that I would be welcome to join.
And so I did. I dusted off those four chapters and ran them through the critique group, where they were well-received. But I wrote those chapters twenty years ago. How could I pick the book up again, particularly after failing so miserably the last time? I had no idea what happened next.
Then Lyda and Naomi told me that they were getting together an hour a day four days a week, on Zoom, simply to write. No talking. Just showing up and clicking keyboards. Would I like to join? No pressure. Just show up if you want, and if you can't, no sweat. The invitation was out there for several months. I kept making excuses. I got a concussion. I needed to recover. Ack, could I do it?
This past week, for the first time, I showed up.
I have written 1,231 new words on a book I began twenty years ago. Here is the opening of the new chapter I started this week:
You have NO IDEA what a big deal this is.
Image description: Background: a sketchified picture of a pathless forest. A crossroads sign stands to one side, but the markers pointing in various directions are empty. Lower left foreground: an open wooden trunk. A woman (Peg) stands beside it, peering inside. Behind the trunk and the woman, overlaying the forest hovers a semi-transparent image of a woman's hand holding a quill pen, writing. Upper edge: individual thumbnail images of three women on Zoom: Naomi Kritzer (left), Peg (center), Lyda Morehouse (right).
Writing
Click here to see the 2022 52 Card Project gallery.
Click here to see the 2021 gallery.
This was not one of those cards. I spent about two hours on an approach that I ended up scrapping altogether and then spent another two hours coming up with this.
This is entirely appropriate because it is about something that has given me fits of agony for more than the last quarter-century: writing.
After I finished The Wild Swans, I made several attempts to start a new novel, without success. One attempt was the Ice Palace Book, and one was a sequel to Emerald House Rising. I agonized and flailed and wrote scads of entries on LiveJournal and Dreamwidth about my writers block, but I never figured it out. It's not surprising, really: I was attempting to work full time, raise a family, and manage a household (of which the three other members all had ADHD). And write. My back brain just didn't have the bandwidth to do anything creative. And so after a lot of grief and self-flagellation, I effectively put my writing away (picture it locked away in a trunk) and didn't attempt again to write anything publishable for almost twenty years.
The Alternity Game helped. That convinced me I could still write. Soul Collage and this digital card project helped, too. That showed me that I still have a creative side.
Several years ago, I extricated from a pile in my office the four chapters I'd written that were meant to be a new Piyanthia novel:
With some diffidence, I passed them on to Delia to read. "Mom! You should do something with this. It's really good! I want to see you finish it." I thanked her, and didn't do anything about it, but that raw encouragement continued to lurk in the back of my mind.Chapter One
Reynardo was correcting student exercises when Bevan paid an unexpected visit to Freneca Hall and asked to see him. That must have been the reason, he decided later, that he was foolish enough to be glad that his old schoolmate had come.
An apprentice directed him to the south solar, where Bevan had been ushered to wait. It overlooked the garden, and he was standing at the window when Reynardo opened the door. It was a fine clear morning in early summer, and just below the window outside, bees were making a low thrum in the yellow patch of sweet lord’s buttons that Master Lionel tended so faithfully. Whenever Reynardo thought of the interview afterward, that was part of the memory: the warm, heady perfume of the garden in full flower, and the drone of the bees in the background, soporific and faintly menacing.
For the last several years, I have been having coffee every Friday with three other writing friends: Eleanor Arnason,
lydamorehouse and naomikritzer. When the pandemic came, we switched to meeting over Zoom every Friday. They have all published more books than me and certainly have had more successful writing careers; we've had different life paths. But they did me the great courtesy of still considering me to be a writer too and gently encouraged me to keep revisiting the idea of writing--for publication or simply for fun. Lyda formed a writing critique group last year and assured me that I would be welcome to join.And so I did. I dusted off those four chapters and ran them through the critique group, where they were well-received. But I wrote those chapters twenty years ago. How could I pick the book up again, particularly after failing so miserably the last time? I had no idea what happened next.
Then Lyda and Naomi told me that they were getting together an hour a day four days a week, on Zoom, simply to write. No talking. Just showing up and clicking keyboards. Would I like to join? No pressure. Just show up if you want, and if you can't, no sweat. The invitation was out there for several months. I kept making excuses. I got a concussion. I needed to recover. Ack, could I do it?
This past week, for the first time, I showed up.
I have written 1,231 new words on a book I began twenty years ago. Here is the opening of the new chapter I started this week:
I still have no idea whether I can finish it. I have no idea of my way through. But now I am 1,231 words closer to the end.Chapter Five
Of course, joining the players involved a certain amount of negotiation—and wrestling with his inner pride—over one issue: money.
“You will share in the profits, of course,” Tavia said briskly, “after a month, once we’ve had a chance to see that you will settle in well with us.” And I’ve had the chance to determine that you’re useful was the clear implication.
Reynardo swallowed. “Am I to eat during that month? I fear my hose will be hanging quite loose if I cannot. Hardly a look that would appeal to the audience.” He offered her his most blinding smile. “And I always make it a point of pride to appeal to the audience.
Tavia’s lips thinned, and he could sense that she was suppressing a sigh. Perhaps profits had been rather low lately. “I will stake your belly during that first month. No alcohol, though,” she added quickly. Drunken louts, clearly, were not useful.
You have NO IDEA what a big deal this is.
Image description: Background: a sketchified picture of a pathless forest. A crossroads sign stands to one side, but the markers pointing in various directions are empty. Lower left foreground: an open wooden trunk. A woman (Peg) stands beside it, peering inside. Behind the trunk and the woman, overlaying the forest hovers a semi-transparent image of a woman's hand holding a quill pen, writing. Upper edge: individual thumbnail images of three women on Zoom: Naomi Kritzer (left), Peg (center), Lyda Morehouse (right).
Click here to see the 2022 52 Card Project gallery.
Click here to see the 2021 gallery.
52 Card Project 2021: Week 52: Humbug
Dec. 30th, 2021 12:33 pmI had such hopes for this holiday season.
I spent it last year alone, and I was so looking forward to getting together with my family. We have had some holiday rituals that we've done for decades: my extended family gathers between Christmas and New Year's every year, and I was excited to see everyone. We are all vaccinated and many of us have received boosters, and we are all willing to wear masks. It felt like our reward for being so diligent about keeping safe all year.
My nephew Lewis flew in from New York. He tested twice before getting on the plane and was negative each time. He came home to my sister Cindy's...and then tested positive the next day (Christmas Eve). Cindy, too, had really been looking forward to Christmas: this was the first year in decades that they would have been gathering in their own home instead of going out East. But now this meant that Cindy and her husband were forced to go into isolation, and her other two sons, Mitch and Stuart, could not come home. It also meant that my brother Chet's family canceled their trip to join us--they had intended to stay with Cindy's family (although one nephew did travel separately later). Disappointment #1.
I had planned an event during this family week for the women of the family, a cream tea at Bingley's Teas, but since our group was now reduced by one-third, I regretfully canceled it. Disappointment #2.
I spent Christmas Eve with my sister Betsy and her family, including my mom. Mitch and Stuart joined that party.
Christmas day, Eric and I had intended to go over to Fiona and Alona's for breakfast--but Eric tested positive that morning and so couldn't join us. His sons subsequently tested positive over the next several days. Disappointment #3.
That evening, Christmas night, I invited over Mitch and Stuart, Cindy's two sons who hadn't been able to go home for drinks and appetizers.
Delia had planned to come to Minneapolis with her boyfriend Chris on Tuesday the 27th. All of us--Fiona, Alona, Chris, Delia, and I tested negative that morning, so I went over to Fiona's and we had our gift opening. Yay! We had planned two more days of get-togethers before Delia and Chris had to head back to Eau Claire.
The next day, yesterday (Wednesday) Mitch called me to tell me that although he had tested negative on Christmas day, he was now testing positive. So now I am in isolation and unable to get together with Fiona's household, including Delia and Chris. I will not be able to see them again before they leave town to go back to Eau Claire. Disappointment #4. I will spend New Year's Eve alone again.
I thought of making another plum pudding on New Year's Eve, as I did last year. What better way to recognize the end of a difficult year than by setting something on fire in my living room? But I have a colonoscopy scheduled for next week and have to start limiting my diet, and I have to avoid some of the ingredients in the plum pudding a week out. That also means I will have no 12th night celebration--I will be fasting that day. Disappointment #5.
I'm grateful that my family and I are all on the same page, getting vaccines and boosters and wearing masks and testing before getting together. But despite our best efforts and diligence and cooperation, people have fallen sick. Omicron is just so damned contagious.
I am trying to keep my spirits up, and I'm glad that at least I did have a few get-together's, and the girls and I got to open our presents together. I will see Eric soon again and we can exchange gifts between the two of us then. But it's still hard, and this still sucks.
Edited to add: I took a rapid test tonight, five days out from my Christmas day exposure (per CDC guidelines), and it was negative.
The background for the card is the charcuterie board I created for my nephews Mitch and Stuart on Christmas night, with a rapid Covid test in the center. Upper left: Covid virus (wearing a Scrooge hat), with a dialogue bubble that reads "Humbug." Upper right: logo for Bingley's Teas with "no" sign. Lower right corner: Fiona and Delia overlaid with "no" sign. Lower left corner: Eric overlaid with "no" sign.
Humbug
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
Woo hoo, I did it! 52 collages for the year completed!
Which one did you like the best?
I will continue the project next year, starting a new gallery with my next collage.
I spent it last year alone, and I was so looking forward to getting together with my family. We have had some holiday rituals that we've done for decades: my extended family gathers between Christmas and New Year's every year, and I was excited to see everyone. We are all vaccinated and many of us have received boosters, and we are all willing to wear masks. It felt like our reward for being so diligent about keeping safe all year.
My nephew Lewis flew in from New York. He tested twice before getting on the plane and was negative each time. He came home to my sister Cindy's...and then tested positive the next day (Christmas Eve). Cindy, too, had really been looking forward to Christmas: this was the first year in decades that they would have been gathering in their own home instead of going out East. But now this meant that Cindy and her husband were forced to go into isolation, and her other two sons, Mitch and Stuart, could not come home. It also meant that my brother Chet's family canceled their trip to join us--they had intended to stay with Cindy's family (although one nephew did travel separately later). Disappointment #1.
I had planned an event during this family week for the women of the family, a cream tea at Bingley's Teas, but since our group was now reduced by one-third, I regretfully canceled it. Disappointment #2.
I spent Christmas Eve with my sister Betsy and her family, including my mom. Mitch and Stuart joined that party.
Christmas day, Eric and I had intended to go over to Fiona and Alona's for breakfast--but Eric tested positive that morning and so couldn't join us. His sons subsequently tested positive over the next several days. Disappointment #3.
That evening, Christmas night, I invited over Mitch and Stuart, Cindy's two sons who hadn't been able to go home for drinks and appetizers.
Delia had planned to come to Minneapolis with her boyfriend Chris on Tuesday the 27th. All of us--Fiona, Alona, Chris, Delia, and I tested negative that morning, so I went over to Fiona's and we had our gift opening. Yay! We had planned two more days of get-togethers before Delia and Chris had to head back to Eau Claire.
The next day, yesterday (Wednesday) Mitch called me to tell me that although he had tested negative on Christmas day, he was now testing positive. So now I am in isolation and unable to get together with Fiona's household, including Delia and Chris. I will not be able to see them again before they leave town to go back to Eau Claire. Disappointment #4. I will spend New Year's Eve alone again.
I thought of making another plum pudding on New Year's Eve, as I did last year. What better way to recognize the end of a difficult year than by setting something on fire in my living room? But I have a colonoscopy scheduled for next week and have to start limiting my diet, and I have to avoid some of the ingredients in the plum pudding a week out. That also means I will have no 12th night celebration--I will be fasting that day. Disappointment #5.
I'm grateful that my family and I are all on the same page, getting vaccines and boosters and wearing masks and testing before getting together. But despite our best efforts and diligence and cooperation, people have fallen sick. Omicron is just so damned contagious.
I am trying to keep my spirits up, and I'm glad that at least I did have a few get-together's, and the girls and I got to open our presents together. I will see Eric soon again and we can exchange gifts between the two of us then. But it's still hard, and this still sucks.
Edited to add: I took a rapid test tonight, five days out from my Christmas day exposure (per CDC guidelines), and it was negative.
The background for the card is the charcuterie board I created for my nephews Mitch and Stuart on Christmas night, with a rapid Covid test in the center. Upper left: Covid virus (wearing a Scrooge hat), with a dialogue bubble that reads "Humbug." Upper right: logo for Bingley's Teas with "no" sign. Lower right corner: Fiona and Delia overlaid with "no" sign. Lower left corner: Eric overlaid with "no" sign.
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
Woo hoo, I did it! 52 collages for the year completed!
Which one did you like the best?
I will continue the project next year, starting a new gallery with my next collage.
52 Card Project 2021: Week 32: Disruption
Aug. 13th, 2021 03:15 pmThis past week has been...interesting. So, let's see:
The background of this card is a cloud of flour (a reference to the pantry moths) overlaid over a star field (a reference to Convergence). Over that are the three coolers, overlaid with 1) moth traps 2) the logo for the company installing the drain tile and 3) the Convergence logo.
(Wow. I just looked at the titles of the last few cards. I just wanted to note in passing, despite the fact that the last six titles are Loneliness / Imbalance / Futility / Bereavement / Scourge [and] / Disruption, I'm not having nearly as bad a summer as those titles suggest.)
Disruption
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
- I had drain tile installed by a company known as Safe Basements. This meant, among other things, that I had to haul 85% of what was still in my basement out to the garage and unhook the washing machine, dryer, and sink. It meant being tied at my heels to stay with the house while contractors worked here. I think I'm pleased with the work the company did--they got the job done faster than even expected. The foreman was not vaccinated, however. Yikes. At least he grudgingly agreed to wear a mask, but it was the least efficient one possible: a gaiter neckfleece pulled up over his mouth. Also, their truck got backed up on my lawn and carved a huge rut in the grass.
- Still fighting a pantry moth infestation. I have thrown out a large amount of food and had to figure out what to eat in fridge or freezer or go out to eat. I don't want to restock the pantry until they're entirely gone. During all this stress, of course this meant that none of my comfort foods were available.
- Convergence! Delia came to town for it. We went grocery shopping for it, planning to keep a cooler in the hotel room, only to discover at the last minute that my old thirty-year-old cooler had a broken spigot and so couldn't be used (water would have leaked out of the bottom). Couldn't find a replacement cooler for a reasonable price in a half hour so *winces in environmental pain* bought styrofoam coolers. Advantage: now that I'm done with Convergence, these coolers can stock the few pantry supplies I have purchased until the pests are gone completely
- Also Delia--she's passed her driver's license test, yay! And bought a new (used) Prius hybrid. And the day she was due to drive back to Eau Claire, the battery conked out in her two week old car--and batteries are EXPENSIVE in hybrids. The previous owner hid this fact from her. So that was stressful.
- sleep disruption continues. Yesterday, I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep. This morning it was 3:30 a.m. Of course, this means that I'm nodding off at 6:00 pm.
- Now that the drain tile has been successfully installed, I have to haul everything (or a lot of things) back INTO the basement. And start hauling everything off the front porch because the house exterior is getting repainted in the next couple of weeks.
- I'm dropping a truly obscene amount of money on home improvements this month
The background of this card is a cloud of flour (a reference to the pantry moths) overlaid over a star field (a reference to Convergence). Over that are the three coolers, overlaid with 1) moth traps 2) the logo for the company installing the drain tile and 3) the Convergence logo.
(Wow. I just looked at the titles of the last few cards. I just wanted to note in passing, despite the fact that the last six titles are Loneliness / Imbalance / Futility / Bereavement / Scourge [and] / Disruption, I'm not having nearly as bad a summer as those titles suggest.)
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
52 Card Project 2021: Week 20: Family
May. 21st, 2021 05:51 pmAlmost everyone in my extended family is fully vaccinated, and so my brother and sister-in-law and one of my nieces came out from New York City for a visit. Delia came from Eau Claire. It was wonderful. I have missed everyone so much, especially since we have gathered for years over the holidays. This visit partially made up for how much we missed each other over Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. We met over the course of three days, eating together, touring the new homes of two nephews and Fiona to admire their new digs, and finally, on the last day, gathering at my sister's lakeside home (Lake Minnetonka). Glorious weather. So much fun.
I could have jammed more into the card, but it was busy enough as it was. Just...smiling faces of family gathering together for the first time in fourteen months. Fiona and Delia are hugging in the upper center of the card. It's not a sophisticated design in the least, but I don't care. I was thinking less about the artistic effect than I was about making a card that reflected the simple joy of getting back together again.
Family
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
I could have jammed more into the card, but it was busy enough as it was. Just...smiling faces of family gathering together for the first time in fourteen months. Fiona and Delia are hugging in the upper center of the card. It's not a sophisticated design in the least, but I don't care. I was thinking less about the artistic effect than I was about making a card that reflected the simple joy of getting back together again.
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
52 Card Project 2021: Week 14: Hope
Apr. 8th, 2021 05:28 pmThis past week was Easter. I missed Minicon terribly, but still, it's spring and crocuses are coming up in my yard, and it's Easter, and those are good things. To my joy, both of the girls managed to land appointments for their first vaccine shots this week.
As for me, I did a home sleep study last night. I will get the report in ten days. I am perversely a little worried because I slept pretty well last night--I'm afraid that if I have some kind of physical problem, it might not have shown up. But I am hopeful that they will be able to diagnose the problem (maybe sleep apnea? Maybe something else?) and I will GET AN ANSWER after four or five frickin' years of struggling with lack of sleep. And better yet--a treatment!
Note: in the Victorian language of the flowers, crocuses symbolize cheer, happiness, and a general spirit of positivity.
Hope
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
As for me, I did a home sleep study last night. I will get the report in ten days. I am perversely a little worried because I slept pretty well last night--I'm afraid that if I have some kind of physical problem, it might not have shown up. But I am hopeful that they will be able to diagnose the problem (maybe sleep apnea? Maybe something else?) and I will GET AN ANSWER after four or five frickin' years of struggling with lack of sleep. And better yet--a treatment!
Note: in the Victorian language of the flowers, crocuses symbolize cheer, happiness, and a general spirit of positivity.
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
As I mentioned in my last entry, yesterday was the third anniversary of Rob's death.
Rob's favorite drink, as I said, was Coca Cola. Delia used to call him "Padre," and one of her Christmas gifts to him was to commission specially labeled Coke bottles with "Padre" on them. So the two bottles in the back are for Fiona and Delia, and the traditionally labeled one in the center is for me. Three bottles, three of us (the girls and me), three years. Above them hovers the ghostly image of Rob, from his last formal portrait, which we used for his obituary picture.
We served Coca Cola in glass bottles at Rob's funeral.
Emotionally difficult to do, but I'm very pleased with how this one turned out.
Commemoration
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
Rob's favorite drink, as I said, was Coca Cola. Delia used to call him "Padre," and one of her Christmas gifts to him was to commission specially labeled Coke bottles with "Padre" on them. So the two bottles in the back are for Fiona and Delia, and the traditionally labeled one in the center is for me. Three bottles, three of us (the girls and me), three years. Above them hovers the ghostly image of Rob, from his last formal portrait, which we used for his obituary picture.
We served Coca Cola in glass bottles at Rob's funeral.
Emotionally difficult to do, but I'm very pleased with how this one turned out.
Click here to read about the 52 card project and see the year's gallery.
We survived and now are celebrating
Nov. 8th, 2020 05:04 pmI haven't posted much about my reaction to the election. I slept very badly this week, watching the news with a great deal of anxiety. I was also distracted because Delia was in town. She has recently gotten over Covid, so this was a narrow window of time we could actually see each other, so we took advantage of the opportunity.
If you know me at all, you know that I was overjoyed by the news (although too tired to go out to join all the street celebrations going on in Minneapolis). But Delia and Fiona and I held our own celebration, and we did it thoroughly. We spoke of our hopes for the next several years. It feels wonderful to actually have some hope again.
If you know me at all, you know that I was overjoyed by the news (although too tired to go out to join all the street celebrations going on in Minneapolis). But Delia and Fiona and I held our own celebration, and we did it thoroughly. We spoke of our hopes for the next several years. It feels wonderful to actually have some hope again.
Happy birthday, Elise!
Aug. 22nd, 2020 07:44 amMy dear long-time friend Elise Matthesen (elisem) is having a special birthday today and turning 60! In honor of the occasion, I pulled out my soulcollage materials for the first time in a long time and made her a gift in her honor: her very own soulcollage card.
Elise Matthesen - Community Suit
I am the One who is a generous soul, loving and wise mentor, savvy manuscript critic, gifted artist, educator, and poet, hilarious Alternity teammate, and kind friend.
Elise has just won the 2020 Hugo for Best Fan Artist (see her Etsy shop here--she is having a birthday month sale!) She has served as a mentor for Delia for years, teaching her to make beautiful jewelry as Elise does. We spent years in a Shakespeare reading group together that met every couple of weeks. Elise, a gifted poet, was in my novel-writing group and was an extremely helpful beta reader for The Wild Swans. I convinced her to join Alternity, and she wrote Linus and Megan (see their icons at Elise's elbows). Linus, especially, a rather nitwitted Ravenclaw who considered himself a poetical rake, was one of my favorite characters in the whole game, screamingly funny.
The card includes pieces of art the Elise has made, including a wandering wire necklace and two pairs of earrings that I bought from her. Elise is famous for her haiku parties at conventions, where a person can pick out a pair of earrings, and if they write a haiku poem inspired by them, Elise will give away the earrings for free). Elise loves to name her necklaces evocative names (one of my necklaces is called "'Betrayed,' the Rose Queen cried, and her hand flew to her throat"). An anthology of short stories has been published based on the names of Elise's jewelry.
You can see wandering wire sculpture that makes up the semi-transparent background in her Etsy shop.
The ring pictured is one that Elise gave to me that I am wearing right now: she said that the birds on either side of the central stones reminded her of swans, and so I was obviously meant to have it.
The lengths of necklace that frame the card are images of the necklace ("Down All Those Glittering Halls" that Elise extravagantly gave away to me for free to encourage me to write, when I was writing the Ice Palace book (alas, I never finished the book and so I still feel a little guilty about having the necklace, but Elise, generous as always, insisted that it was all right, and I didn't need to give it back.)
Elise definitely deserves a card for her special day!
elisem) is having a special birthday today and turning 60! In honor of the occasion, I pulled out my soulcollage materials for the first time in a long time and made her a gift in her honor: her very own soulcollage card.Elise Matthesen - Community Suit
I am the One who is a generous soul, loving and wise mentor, savvy manuscript critic, gifted artist, educator, and poet, hilarious Alternity teammate, and kind friend.
Elise has just won the 2020 Hugo for Best Fan Artist (see her Etsy shop here--she is having a birthday month sale!) She has served as a mentor for Delia for years, teaching her to make beautiful jewelry as Elise does. We spent years in a Shakespeare reading group together that met every couple of weeks. Elise, a gifted poet, was in my novel-writing group and was an extremely helpful beta reader for The Wild Swans. I convinced her to join Alternity, and she wrote Linus and Megan (see their icons at Elise's elbows). Linus, especially, a rather nitwitted Ravenclaw who considered himself a poetical rake, was one of my favorite characters in the whole game, screamingly funny.
The card includes pieces of art the Elise has made, including a wandering wire necklace and two pairs of earrings that I bought from her. Elise is famous for her haiku parties at conventions, where a person can pick out a pair of earrings, and if they write a haiku poem inspired by them, Elise will give away the earrings for free). Elise loves to name her necklaces evocative names (one of my necklaces is called "'Betrayed,' the Rose Queen cried, and her hand flew to her throat"). An anthology of short stories has been published based on the names of Elise's jewelry.
You can see wandering wire sculpture that makes up the semi-transparent background in her Etsy shop.
The ring pictured is one that Elise gave to me that I am wearing right now: she said that the birds on either side of the central stones reminded her of swans, and so I was obviously meant to have it.
The lengths of necklace that frame the card are images of the necklace ("Down All Those Glittering Halls" that Elise extravagantly gave away to me for free to encourage me to write, when I was writing the Ice Palace book (alas, I never finished the book and so I still feel a little guilty about having the necklace, but Elise, generous as always, insisted that it was all right, and I didn't need to give it back.)
Elise definitely deserves a card for her special day!
Christmas report
Dec. 26th, 2019 02:50 pmI took very few pictures this year because I fell ill with a bad cold the morning of Christmas Eve, and so Christmas was very subdued this year. I did want to show you my utterly impractical, incredibly fragile Christmas gift for Delia. At my instruction, she opened the mirror first, and THAT made her cry. Then she opened the crystal coach and utterly lost it.
Here is the same picture with an arty Instagram filter:
I picked up this beauty at Sophie Joe’s Emporium in St. Paul. Delia and I were in there browsing one day before meeting some friends for coffee. Delia admired the coach, and then I slipped the clerk my card as she was browsing further. I came back for it later and found a mirror (also at Sophie Jo’s) to place it on, and I added the lettering (using stick-on lettering found at Michael's craft store).
The clerk told me that it was a custom-made piece that was created for a Cinderella-themed wedding: it was used as the cake topper. Eventually, it was sold to the Emporium.
The words on the mirror are from the Disney movie: it is what Cinderella's mother tells Cinderella when on her deathbed. Delia has adopted it as a personal motto. The reminder to "be kind," is also a reminder to be kind to herself.
Here is the same picture with an arty Instagram filter:
I picked up this beauty at Sophie Joe’s Emporium in St. Paul. Delia and I were in there browsing one day before meeting some friends for coffee. Delia admired the coach, and then I slipped the clerk my card as she was browsing further. I came back for it later and found a mirror (also at Sophie Jo’s) to place it on, and I added the lettering (using stick-on lettering found at Michael's craft store).
The clerk told me that it was a custom-made piece that was created for a Cinderella-themed wedding: it was used as the cake topper. Eventually, it was sold to the Emporium.
The words on the mirror are from the Disney movie: it is what Cinderella's mother tells Cinderella when on her deathbed. Delia has adopted it as a personal motto. The reminder to "be kind," is also a reminder to be kind to herself.
Continuing to transition
Sep. 5th, 2018 08:00 amMe, to Fiona : “So, IF I started thinking about dating again, what sort of guy do you think—“
Fiona (adamantly): “No.”
Me: “No, really, I just wondered—“
Fiona: “No. I’m not going there.”
Me: “Fiona, this is purely theoretical. You’re a mathematician, right? You can deal with the theoretical. Think of it like, um, pairing numbers.”
Fiona: “I happen to dislike even numbers.”
At which point, I cracked up and abandoned the conversation. No dating advice will be forthcoming from my daughter. (And it’s really true. She likes odd numbers better than even numbers. She likes prime numbers best of all, bless her nerdy heart.)
In other news, I donated 460 books to the Friends of the Library yesterday. They were mystery hardbacks, a genre I hardly ever read (except for a few selected authors). Many of them Rob BOUGHT at the Friends of the Library book sales over the years (he would go at the end of the day and bring home grocery bags full of books that he'd gotten for $1 each--uncaring of my shrill complaints: "Where are we going to PUT them all?") I hope to consolidate three of the remaining bookcases into the open shelves, which would allow me to remove bookcases that are sitting in the archway between my living room and my dining room. Then I can go shopping for new furniture.
Rob loved his books so, so much, and I did, too, but the number that he collected was excessive. It is incredibly painful to get rid of some. And hopeful. I sent the Snapchat below to the girls, and Delia called me up to console me and tell me that she was proud of me. And I am, and yet...ugh. I slept badly last night.
Fiona (adamantly): “No.”
Me: “No, really, I just wondered—“
Fiona: “No. I’m not going there.”
Me: “Fiona, this is purely theoretical. You’re a mathematician, right? You can deal with the theoretical. Think of it like, um, pairing numbers.”
Fiona: “I happen to dislike even numbers.”
At which point, I cracked up and abandoned the conversation. No dating advice will be forthcoming from my daughter. (And it’s really true. She likes odd numbers better than even numbers. She likes prime numbers best of all, bless her nerdy heart.)
In other news, I donated 460 books to the Friends of the Library yesterday. They were mystery hardbacks, a genre I hardly ever read (except for a few selected authors). Many of them Rob BOUGHT at the Friends of the Library book sales over the years (he would go at the end of the day and bring home grocery bags full of books that he'd gotten for $1 each--uncaring of my shrill complaints: "Where are we going to PUT them all?") I hope to consolidate three of the remaining bookcases into the open shelves, which would allow me to remove bookcases that are sitting in the archway between my living room and my dining room. Then I can go shopping for new furniture.
Rob loved his books so, so much, and I did, too, but the number that he collected was excessive. It is incredibly painful to get rid of some. And hopeful. I sent the Snapchat below to the girls, and Delia called me up to console me and tell me that she was proud of me. And I am, and yet...ugh. I slept badly last night.
she thought of his regard with a deeper sentiment of gratitude than it had ever raised before;
she remembered its warmth, and softened its impropriety of expression.
--Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
I realize that I never posted the last pictures we took for our family portrait. They were taken by a friend of the family and professional photographer, John Walsh, the night before Thanksgiving, November 2017. We had no way of knowing, but that was the very last night that Rob slept in his own bed. I took him to the Emergency Room the next day, Thanksgiving Day, for fever, and he was admitted that day. He never saw his home again. Many of you saw these pictures on our Christmas card.
The shoot was wonderful, and you can see what a happy, laughing time we had...but I knew in my heart what was coming. When Rob's individual portrait appeared on the photographer's monitor, I immediately burst into tears. I managed to choke out that it was because I so moved by it. Indeed, I loved it--but that wasn't it.
I was crying because I instantly knew it was going to be his obituary picture. And I was right.
Today, I thought of this treasured picture of Rob as I was listening to this song, from Austen's Pride, A New Musical of Pride and Prejudice. (Listen to this song here. The lyrics here are from the first minute and forty seconds. Listen to the whole thing: it's gorgeous.)
I thought I knew
The man in the portrait
You appear and seem to be
All the things that I refused to see
And you said you loved me.
Who are you?
Is it true
The man in the portrait
Is thoughtful and good?
If I knew then
What I know now
I might have understood
But that was then
Now I’m face to face
With you, the man in the portrait
In your gaze, I can see
The way you used to smile at me
And it says, you loved me.
I was open with the fact, I think, that Rob and I had our struggles, as happens of course in any marriage. It was very difficult particularly through the years of unemployment. But my respect for him grew so much as I watched him battle cancer, and somehow, this photograph captured something about him and made it visible for all: his nobility, and his suffering, and the love that shone out of him. The lines I've bolded above say it well. I told the photographer that I will treasure this photo for the rest of my life.
I cried a lot today.
photo credit John Walsh
Week 37: Curse
The campaign is having some difficulties.
This card is about how the fanart contest I had planned for EverTwixt ran into some problems. The day the contest was launched, Kelly (the owner of EverTwixt) fell down the stairs, resulting in a concussion and broken arm. An inauspicious start. We decided it was due to the malign influence of Baba Yaga, the nemesis of the stories on the website. We also determined that the contest had to be rejiggered, because we weren't getting the response to the ads that we'd hoped.
Week 38: Redesign
I spent the week redesigning the contest, hoping to still find our mystery artist out there somewhere.
This card represents both the fact that I redesigned the particulars of the contest, since Kelly was unavailable (landing pages, email automation), and the silhouette also represents that mysterious artist we still hoped to find.
Week 39: Certification
I took the test and finished the Hubspot Academy Inbound Marketing course.
The Inbound Marketing course is built on the four stages of inbound marketing as Hubspot sees them: Attract, Convert, Close, and Delight.
Week 40: Treats
I begin designing the website for Barking Good Healthy Treats.
Week 41: Girls
Meals with my girls mean love.
This combined two Snapchats: Fiona and I send this a Snapchat to Delia informing her of our brunch at Turtle Bread Bakery. Delia also sent us a Snapchat, showing the set up of her table at her new apartment in Eau Claire. The vase of peonies were the ones I brought with me when we moved Delia in.
The campaign is having some difficulties.
This card is about how the fanart contest I had planned for EverTwixt ran into some problems. The day the contest was launched, Kelly (the owner of EverTwixt) fell down the stairs, resulting in a concussion and broken arm. An inauspicious start. We decided it was due to the malign influence of Baba Yaga, the nemesis of the stories on the website. We also determined that the contest had to be rejiggered, because we weren't getting the response to the ads that we'd hoped.
Week 38: Redesign
I spent the week redesigning the contest, hoping to still find our mystery artist out there somewhere.
This card represents both the fact that I redesigned the particulars of the contest, since Kelly was unavailable (landing pages, email automation), and the silhouette also represents that mysterious artist we still hoped to find.
Week 39: Certification
I took the test and finished the Hubspot Academy Inbound Marketing course.
The Inbound Marketing course is built on the four stages of inbound marketing as Hubspot sees them: Attract, Convert, Close, and Delight.
Week 40: Treats
I begin designing the website for Barking Good Healthy Treats.
Week 41: Girls
Meals with my girls mean love.
This combined two Snapchats: Fiona and I send this a Snapchat to Delia informing her of our brunch at Turtle Bread Bakery. Delia also sent us a Snapchat, showing the set up of her table at her new apartment in Eau Claire. The vase of peonies were the ones I brought with me when we moved Delia in.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Nov. 26th, 2015 11:59 amI have many reasons to be grateful. One is that these two beautiful girls are home from college for the weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving from our household to yours.
Happy Thanksgiving from our household to yours.
New Manicure
Nov. 25th, 2015 10:13 pmDelia's home for the holidays, which means it's manicure time. Since it's the holiday weekend and I don't have any job search meetings set for awhile, I can be a bit more whimsical. Today's theme: The Marauders' Map. I did it this time. Got a little wobbly on my right thumb, but I re-did it and it looks all right. Rather pleased with the overall effect.
Delia's is more artistic, featuring fall-colored dots and a turkey.
Delia's is more artistic, featuring fall-colored dots and a turkey.
(no subject)
Oct. 20th, 2015 05:01 pmWeek 8: Encouragement
You are a strong, powerful woman, no matter how defeated or nervous you may feel.
This card is strongly tied to last week's card, Fall. In fact, this week's creation was entirely due to reaction to last week's.
When I created Fall and posted it, I sent the link to Delia (away at college) because, after all, it was our conversation about her art assignment that inspired the card in the first place. She sent me a beautiful e-mail in response and I've received her permission to post it here:
I was so touched by that email, and I thought about it a lot this week.
Now, I was in church this Sunday, struggling with a coughing fit, and as I have about a million times over the past three months, I pulled out a Halls honey-lemon cough drop and started sucking on it. The coughing is due to asthma (yes, I am also taking Zyr-tac and using an inhaler). But in this instance, for the very first time, I noticed the writing on the wrapper. Note: I have been unwrapping these cough drops for months. I saw the slogan they use: A PEP TALK IN EVERY DROPTM and realized what else was written on the wrapper: affirmations. Lots and lots of affirmations, exactly like Delia's email. And the layout of the card bloomed instantly in my mind, just like that.
So for this week's card, I dug some of the wrappers out of my purse and others out of the waste paper basket (there were plenty to choose from) and cut out the affirmations.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
minnehaha K. suggested and provided a paint that would blend in the background (because the black of the prepped card would be a stark contrast). The sentence that describes the card came right from Delia's email; she even helpfully bolded it for me.
I think I'm just about as pleased with this week's card as I was with last week's. Perhaps not as pretty (well, Delia is, but not cough drop wrappers!) but it is certainly spot-on with the theme of the week.
What do you think?
You are a strong, powerful woman, no matter how defeated or nervous you may feel.
This card is strongly tied to last week's card, Fall. In fact, this week's creation was entirely due to reaction to last week's.
When I created Fall and posted it, I sent the link to Delia (away at college) because, after all, it was our conversation about her art assignment that inspired the card in the first place. She sent me a beautiful e-mail in response and I've received her permission to post it here:
Sorry this reply took so long.(Bolding is in the original).
I really like that card. The blog post on it was very thoughtful and insightful, and made it a bazillion times cooler once I really understood the meaning.
I hope things start to feel a little better very soon. Imma preach a bit here. I know you know this stuff, but I'm going to remind you of it.
I know from experience, that dread feeling you were talking about gets you nowhere. Try to focus on today, the now, and you'll feel a whole lot better. (Obviously you have to think long term sometimes, but keep that to a minimum.) Cutting down on focusing on my future to do list or stresses helps me focus more on my tasks at hand, so I have less to worry about later because it's already done or no longer stressful. It also helps me enjoy the Sparkling Moments life gives me, without feeling guilty or stressed or even miss them all together. I hope that makes sense.
I know how hard it is to stop yourself from worrying about things and retraining your brain. It feels pretty much impossible at first. But with practice, you can do it. I know you can. You are a strong, powerful woman, no matter how defeated or nervous you may feel. I know you can and will get through this. We all will. If something is important, we find a way to make it happen, right? Finding a job is important, yes, but your quality of life is extremely important as well. You can do this.
Thought this might be a good song for you on this topic:
I Will Get There
"I will get through the night and make it through to the other side."
And you will. You will get through this, and you will be stronger because of it. I love you to the moon and back, Mommy. You are amazing and you can do this, no matter what.
I believe in you. I trust you. I love you.
Delia
I was so touched by that email, and I thought about it a lot this week.
Now, I was in church this Sunday, struggling with a coughing fit, and as I have about a million times over the past three months, I pulled out a Halls honey-lemon cough drop and started sucking on it. The coughing is due to asthma (yes, I am also taking Zyr-tac and using an inhaler). But in this instance, for the very first time, I noticed the writing on the wrapper. Note: I have been unwrapping these cough drops for months. I saw the slogan they use: A PEP TALK IN EVERY DROPTM and realized what else was written on the wrapper: affirmations. Lots and lots of affirmations, exactly like Delia's email. And the layout of the card bloomed instantly in my mind, just like that.
So for this week's card, I dug some of the wrappers out of my purse and others out of the waste paper basket (there were plenty to choose from) and cut out the affirmations.
minnehaha K. suggested and provided a paint that would blend in the background (because the black of the prepped card would be a stark contrast). The sentence that describes the card came right from Delia's email; she even helpfully bolded it for me.I think I'm just about as pleased with this week's card as I was with last week's. Perhaps not as pretty (well, Delia is, but not cough drop wrappers!) but it is certainly spot-on with the theme of the week.
What do you think?
